Building Routines During Changes: Helping Your Toddler Find Stability Through Military Life

Being a military family means experiencing plenty of changes. There are new duty stations, deployments, temporary assignments, changing work schedules, and more. You create new routines, and just when you feel like the dust has settled, something comes along and changes things. As adults, these changes and transitions can be challenging enough. For toddlers and preschoolers, they can be especially confusing. Young children are still learning what to expect from the world around them. They often rely on familiar routines and schedules to help them feel secure.

The good news is that building stability doesn’t mean having everything planned down to the hour or minute. It doesn’t even mean following the same schedule all the time. Sometimes, it’s the little things you repeat daily or weekly that can make the biggest difference. Whether you’re preparing a binder for an upcoming PCS or just navigating the usual uncertainty of military life, here are some ways to create familiar routines your toddler can count on.

Start with Small, Everyday Routines

When everything feels unpredictable, it can be tempting to try and establish a completely new schedule. However, you don’t need to plan every part of the day to create a sense of stability. Instead, find small moments that you can make predictable. These small moments will give children something familiar when big changes happen.

• Morning Routine: Your child might get dressed, eat breakfast, brush their teeth, and then play with blocks before heading to daycare. The order is what matters, not the amount of time spent on each activity.
• Bedtime Routine: After dinner, there’s time to play quietly and wind down before a bath, pajamas, brushing teeth, story time, and goodnight cuddles and kisses. The best part is that even if you’re in a hotel while waiting for housing, or visiting family, most of the routine can stay the same.
• Special Goodbyes: If a parent leaves early for work or is on a deployment, create a small goodbye tradition. It might be a special phrase, hugs and kisses to go, or a high five. “I love you, daddy,” followed by a double fist bump.

Keep a Few Familiar Activities in the Weekly Schedule

As stated above, daily routines are important, but don’t forget about weekly activities. Think about the things your child looks forward to each week. Maybe your family goes to storytime at the library on Mondays or you take a walk together after dinner. When big changes are happening, it’s important to keep a few of these as part of the regular schedule. It helps toddlers and preschoolers maintain a sense of normalcy.

For example, if your family is preparing for a PCS, it might be hard to keep everything that’s part of your usual daily schedule. However, you still could continue the after-dinner walks until moving day or set aside time to play family games together. Once you’ve arrived at your new duty station, you can re-establish these familiar routines or create new ones.

This is one of the reasons programs like Tiny Troops Soccer can be valuable for military families. Having a regular Saturday class to attend gives children something to look forward to. Every class has a structured routine, and young children thrive in this kind of setting. It provides a welcome sense of consistency.

Bring the Familiar into the New

When PCSing means a new home, unfamiliar faces and places, and new schools or daycares, it can be a scary transition for toddlers and preschoolers. While it takes time for the unfamiliar to become familiar, you can bring some of your old home with you. Travel with a small collection of familiar items that can help your child feel at ease. The location may change, but the familiar activities are ones your child can recognize or anticipate.

• Bedtime Comfort: Bring the familiar bits of their routine. This might include a favorite blanket, stuffie, or book. It might include a sound machine or comforting pillow.
• Activity Bag: Remember Kid Kits from the Babysitter’s Club? Pack a small bag or backpack that has coloring books, small toys like figures or cars, or other activities that your child enjoys. Keep it easily accessible during travels. After you’ve settled, it can also be a great tool for using at restaurants.
• Familiar Photos: Keep a collection of familiar faces nearby. This could be in the form of a photo album, or you can use a photo service to make a photo book keepsake instead.

Don’t Forget Flexibility

Every military family knows that the military doesn’t always cooperate with the best-laid plans. Deployments come up suddenly or get extended. A parent needs to work late on base. PCS dates or locations change. Plans get changed because something unexpected comes up. When this happens, try to keep something familiar from the original plan and shift gears. Remind your child that even when plans change, some things remain familiar.

• Tiny Troops Soccer classes are canceled due to bad weather, so instead you do one of the virtual classes at home together.
• One parent must work late on base, so the other parent does the usual bedtime routine instead.
• Something unexpected cancels an anticipated activity, so you decide on another favorite activity instead.

Let Your Child Help Build New Routines

Children have no say in when a move happens or how long a parent will be deployed, but they can have a say in building new routines. This allows them to be involved in making decisions. Look for age-appropriate ways to let your toddler or preschooler help. Below are some examples:

• Ask them which book they’d like to read before bed.
• Give a choice in whether today’s activity is a playground trip or a library trip
• Let them help decide where to put their toys in their new room

At Tiny Troops Soccer, Tiny Troopers participate in familiar class routines. Whether they are at Camp Lejeune or 29 Palms, they can take comfort in knowing that classes will always work the same way. There will always be an introduction to class, warm-ups, dribbling, games, and class wrap-up. Again, this familiar routine helps them feel secure and safe, even though so much of their life may have changed.

Adjusting Takes Time

Even if you keep familiar routines and activities, big changes still take time to process. A child who was excited about soccer might become hesitant when joining a new program. A toddler who used to fall asleep easily might need some extra help at bedtime. A preschooler who had no problems making friends at their old daycare might hang back or act shy at their new one.

Every child is different in how they adjust to changes in the world around them. Your child may simply need more time and patience to adjust to a new environment. Don’t rush the process, but go at their own pace. Let the child observe the new soccer program. Give extra comfort during bedtime struggles. Help them stay connected to their old friends through video chats.

Little Routines = Big Difference

Military life will always come with a side of unpredictability. That won’t change. There will always be new homes, schools, or schedules. Stability doesn’t come from keeping everything the same. Rather, it comes from the little things your family continues doing together. These small moments can help your child feel connected and supported.

At Tiny Troops Soccer, we’re proud to be part of the journey for military families and families in our communities. Whether your child is joining us for their very first class or joining us once again after a PCS, we’re excited to help them feel comfortable and to grow through play.

Ready to join us on Soccer Island? You can find your nearest class and enroll today!