Helping Your Toddler Make Friends After a PCS

A PCS can mean a lot of changes and new beginnings for your family. It means moving to a new duty station where a new home, new faces, and new places await. There will be new routines to learn. As adults, making these adjustments can take time, but it can be more complicated for toddlers and preschoolers. Little ones may know that they have moved, but they may not understand why they can no longer see their friends or why everything looks different. One of the biggest challenges after a move can be helping your child (and yourself!) make new friends and feel connected in their new community. The good news is that it doesn’t need to be rushed. Young children will build new friendships through repeated experiences, seeing familiar faces, and play opportunities.

Give Your Child Time to Adjust

After a PCS, it can be tempting to jump right into finding new things and activities because you want things to return to a semblance of “normal”. While making plans to go out and explore your new community, keep in mind that your child may need more time to warm up and get comfortable. Before, your toddler may have been outgoing and unafraid to go to soccer class or school. After the PCS, they may suddenly become more clingy and dependent on you, and that’s okay.

Just like you, your child is getting used to new surroundings, new people, and new routines all at once. Being hesitant means that they need more time to adjust and get comfortable. Once they do, they’ll return to their usual self. Like with any new activity, let your child watch. Talk with them about what they are seeing. Offer them chances to participate, but also let them know it’s okay to keep watching if they aren’t ready yet. Watching is usually the first step to joining in.

Look for Places You’ll Visit Regularly

Chances are, at your last duty station you had favorite places that you would take your toddler or preschooler. While it can be hard to say goodbye to favorite haunts, a PCS presents the opportunity to find new places to visit. Take some time in the lead up before your PCS to find toddler and preschool friendly places to visit. These might be neighborhood playgrounds, children’s museums, libraries, etc. Join the local Facebook groups for the new duty station. These places are a treasure trove of recommendations for things to do with your family.

Once you’ve moved to your new home, pick one or two new places to try out. If they seem to be a fit for your family, make them places to visit often. Repetition is important in the lives of toddlers and preschoolers, and this is no different. Picking just one or two options lets your little one see the same faces over and over and begin to recognize them. Strange begins to become familiar. Remember, give your little one time to get comfortable and adjust. Give yourself grace as well.

Friendship Happens Through Play

It’s not in a toddler’s nature to sit down and ask to play with another toddler. Young children are often more likely to sit and play nearby another child, or play with the same materials in the same area, but not interact. This is how they make connections with those around them. For example, they might both play with dump trucks in the sand pit, or swing on the swings.

Often, these moments of play are the familiar to them. This allows them to find safety and comfort while slowly becoming comfortable in a new place with new people. Over time, young children will begin to interact with the other children. This is why play-based activities are so helpful when it comes to meeting others.

Use Activities to Create Opportunities for Connection

Recurring activities are great because they give you and your family a reason to keep coming back. For example, weekly soccer classes gives your toddler or preschooler the chance to see the same coach and same children over and over. At Tiny Troops Soccer, that’s one of the reasons we have our program at multiple military bases. When everything else is unfamiliar, our program is a beacon of familiarity.

Not only is Tiny Troops Soccer available at multiple duty stations, we also focus on a play-based curriculum that includes repetition. We strive to bring that feeling of comfort and safety to your little one so that they can begin to feel at home. A Tiny Trooper doesn’t need to “be ready” for their first class. They don’t need to participate in every activity or game, or even make friends. They can take their time, watch, and explore as they gradually become comfortable.

The consistency our program provides can be especially meaningful to our military families. It gives your child a place to belong, and you as well. You’ll find families that are in similar situations and have lived in similar shoes. Finding a new activity for your childre after a PCS can give you both a familiar place to belong.

Remember That You Are Building Community, Too

Your child isn’t the only one trying to build community after a PCS. Don’t forget about yourself. You’ve probably already researched places for your children, places to eat and shop, and events on the military base. You may find your own community growing after taking your little one to the park. Perhaps you meet another family there, and they introduce you to another family. Your local library may keep a list of events on hand that are family friendly. These connections help everyone in your family to become familiar with your new home.

Making Friends Takes Time

Like everything else in life, making new friends takes time, both for your child and you. It’s a process that happens as time passes. Give your family chances to see familiar faces, whether that’s at a weekly activity or the neighborhood playground. Remember to let your toddler or preschooler observe first and ease into participating. Celebrate the small steps they take. Eventually, these new places will become familiar and comfortable. Once they do, your new duty station begins to feel like home.

Have you recently moved to a new duty station and are interested in what Tiny Troops Soccer can offer your family? Find a class near you or email us: info@tinytroopssoccer.com. We’d love to see you on Soccer Island!